I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
