Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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