dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
