I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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