i'm signing you up for texting rehab
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
