Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
