I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
