He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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