i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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