tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she told me i tasted like america
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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