you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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