I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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