one might say we're banned from that church
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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