I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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