how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
