I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize