i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
