one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
