Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
