I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she woke up with a sticky ear
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
