WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Never joke about your clitoris.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
