I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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