Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
