Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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