Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
