return my video game
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
