I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
