Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
