By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
