dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
