I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
