Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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