We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
