I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
