Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
another moral hangover. fuck.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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