Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
