The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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