South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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