Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
