Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
