How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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