she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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