He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
