Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
