i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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