no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
