i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
