No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
