he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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