I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
