She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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