Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
