I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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