I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
