if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
