my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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