She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
