I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
