Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize