Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
