There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
