Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
