So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
im holly from the hills drunk
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
