She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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